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Joke of the Day

"Listen mate, the only rapture I'm interested in was sung by Debbie Harry"

"Have you been injured in a car accident? call 555-bottom-feeders. We will do anything for money."

"What did the jewish pedophile say too the children? Would you like to ""buy"" some candy"

"Why did the blind man use chopsticks? Because he couldn't see the point in forks."

"BDSM while being dressed as a Knight is my absolute weakness. You can say that it is a Kink in my Armour."

"What is Cthulu's favorite pizza? deep dish"

"So I'm reading that ""twerking"" and ""selfie"" have been added to the dictionary. ""Future"" and ""optimism"" have been removed..."

"Statistics are like bikinis. What they reveal is suggestive, but what they conceal is vital. Edit- This is a famous quote by Aaron Levenstein. A Professor told this to a friend."

"What's the difference between Elliot Rodger and an egg? [x-post from r/4Chan] An egg gets laid before it cracks. [Source:](http://i.imgur.com/L4kXpw8.jpg)"

"What's the difference between a jew and a pizza? A pizza doesn't scream when you put it in the oven!"