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Joke of the Day

"BDSM while being dressed as a Knight is my absolute weakness. You can say that it is a Kink in my Armour."

"What kind of car does a cat drive? A Cadillac."

"What did one pimple say to the other? If you're busted, run."

"I've been using medical marijuana for my bladder issues... My doctor told me to piss or get off the pot."

"The phrase 'dead ringer' refers to someone who sits behind Chuck Norris in a movie theater and forgets to turn their cell phone off."

"Did you hear about the old Italian chef? He pasta way"

"When I'm pushing the twins in the pram and someone asks me if they're mine I say 'no, they're for my collection' and run as fast as I can"

"What's better than eating a mandarin? Eating Amanda out."

"""Good luck with your little skits!"" -Shakespeare's mom."

"When my wife asks me to do that one thing in the bedroom that she really likes, she's talking about vacuuming."