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Joke of the Day

"Statistics are like bikinis. What they reveal is suggestive, but what they conceal is vital. Edit- This is a famous quote by Aaron Levenstein. A Professor told this to a friend."

"How do you stop hearing jokes written for 12 year olds? Unsubscribe from r/jokes!"

"Ruffled feathers ahead. What do you call a woman that is never late, can actually drive a car and doesn't need help killing spiders? Bruce Jenner."

"What's worse than 5 dead babies in 1 trash can? 1 dead baby in 5 trash cans"

"Why are the Jews angry about the new $20 bill? Because it's only worth $12 now"

"My signature sex move is flirting like a pornstar then getting awkward as fcuk once it looks like something could actually happen."

"Why do blondes have ""TGIF"" on the front of their shirts? **T**its **G**o **I**n **F**ront"

"The best part about having a muppet for a best friend is that when you're done singing songs, BOOM free oven mitt."

"What do you get when you cross a dog and a frog? A dog who can lick himself from across the room"

"What does the ghost of Al Pacino say? Boo-ah!"