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Joke of the Day

"A new class of octopus has been discovered that cooks it's food. It's the only Chefalopod found so far."

"My doctor prescribed a med that has ""weight loss"" as a side effect......I've never wanted to overdose so much in my life!"

"A man and woman are riding up in an elevator. The man looks at the woman and says ""Can I smell your pussy?"" She replies ""Hell no!"" The man says ""Well it must be your feet then."""

"I put my pants on like everyone else: with difficulty, blaming the dryer for shrinking them."

"i wanted som fried chicken but i didnt have any chicken so i fried an egg adn waited a few years"

"I can see smoke on the horizon. God I hope it's rest of Monday burning to the ground"

"The ""eye for an eye"" philosophy isn't exactly a level playing field if your grievance is with a cyclops."

"I talk a lot of shit for a girl with a blankie."

"What is the difference between a stalking African Pygmy and a jogging Jane Fonda? One of them is a cunning runt."

"How do you make a cat go ""woof!"" Pour lighter fluid on it and set it ablaze... ""WOOOOF!"""