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Joke of the Day
"How do you make a cat go ""woof!"" Pour lighter fluid on it and set it ablaze... ""WOOOOF!"""
Next Joke
"Why did the duck cross the basketball court? He heard the referees were blowing fouls... -Jim Norton"
"What did the Buddhist say when asked if he'd like to move from Tibet to North Korea? Nah. I'ma stay."
"I asked my wife what she wanted for Christmas. ""Something that buzzes and is guaranteed to drive me crazy"" she replied. So I bought her a pet mosquito."
"To the guy in a wheelchair that stole my phone You can hide but you can't run"
"What did the left pussy lip say to the right pussy lip? ""We used to be really tight until you let that dick come between us."""
"""Putin's Assassination Attempt On Bob Costas Fails, Matt Lauer Next Target"" (Faux Onion headline. Follow on twitter @gizopizo)"
"I've invented a golf ball that will automatically go in the hole if it comes within 4 inches. They work brilliantly, just don't carry them in your back pocket."
"I try not to beat my meat... But sometimes it's hard though"
"What do you call a pig that has never been tested for an infection? Uncultured swine."