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Joke of the Day

"*Holds door for woman *Slams door in her boyfriend's face"

"Just saw a horse drawn cart. Wasn't a very good cart. Horses are terrible artists."

"What do you call a machine that automatically paddles your boat? A row bot."

"*looks at watch* come on, I gotta get back to browsing the same four websites over and over"

"What do reddit and Playboy magazine have in common? No one actually reads the articles."

"I missed my cake day yesterday. Here's a joke. My life."

"Anyone who says ""good morning"" on a Monday is a sociopath."

"I don't mean to sound like a hypochondriac but I was diagnosed with the flu today & I feel like it's been coming on for a few years now."

"I can confidently say I'm 150 pounds of solid sexy. Plus 40-50 of squishy stuff."

"My daughter may only be one year old today, but she retrieves beer from the fridge at a fourth grade level."