220456

Joke of the Day

"What's the opposite of drunken noodles? Soba noodles!"

"Wanna hear a joke? Women's rights."

"Nigel Farage gets his girlfriend pregnant.. Soon after the pregnancy test arrived as positive, he says ""My fatherhood ambition has been achieved. I want my life back"""

"Told girl on flight she was pretty and she replied ""Tell me something I don't know."" So i asked if she remembered the quadratic formula."

"What does an insecure white kid do when he accidentally leaves a page? Alt+Right"

"Giving blood is a great way to help society AND lose unsightly blood weight!"

"I have a thing for older men. Not cuz I have 'daddy issues', but because I also like to eat dinner at 4:30 and be asleep by 8pm."

"I just saw a cop pull over a U-Haul truck. I think he is trying to bust a move."

"The last chapter of every book should just be all the characters acting completely terrified because their world is about to end."

"Knock Knock. ""Who's there?"" ""Kenya."" ""Kenya who?"" ""Kenya let me the fuck in?!?"""