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Joke of the Day

"On the one hand, when I masturbate, I feel like I'm cheating on my wife... ...but on the other hand, I don't."

"Why was Mr. Behaving sad? His daughter was always Ms. Behaving."

"Why do java programmers need to wear glasses? Because they can't C#!"

"I went to the zoo the other day. There was only one dog in it. It was a shitzu."

"Man gets his wife roses for Valentine's Day Wife says ""I guess I have to open my legs now"". Man says ""Why? Don't we have a vase""?"

"Doctor, doctor! I think I'm a pair of curtains! Well that's more of a mental health issue, I'm not really qualified to help you."

"Statistics are like Bikini Atoll Their essence utterly obliterated for the purpose of proving a political point."

"I just want one spam email that's like, ""Congratulations! You have a perfect-sized penis."""

"What do you call a flesh light powered by your smartphone? iFap"

"What do 9/10 people enjoy Gang rape. Credit to Jack Whitehall and Bad education."