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Joke of the Day

"Statistics are like Bikini Atoll Their essence utterly obliterated for the purpose of proving a political point."

"""NOAH. YOU WILL BUILD AN ARK"" k ""NOT ""K"" THIS IS IMPORTANT"" Sorry ""THATS OK. TAKE 2 OF EVERY ANIMAL ON IT"" Even fish? *THUNDER* ""NO NOT FISH"

"Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side!!! haha funny fun pun so funny joke haha (upvote this) haha lol =)"

"Mattel released a Muslim Barbie... It's a blow-up doll."

"Why are alcoholics the same as necrophiliacs? When they feel like fucking death they crack open a cold one."

"There is three rings in marriage... The engagement ring, the wedding ring and the suffering"

"Remake of Last tango in Paris butter scene What would the actress played by Maria Schneider say to Marlon Brando in the new version of famous butter scene: I can't believe it's not BUTTer !"

"The only lyrics I can make out in the song ""Informer"" are ""Hey farrrrmer...something....a leaky boom boom cow"". Not 100% sure though."

"I asked a fortune teller to read my future. Suddenly, she went pale and sprinted from the room. So I grabbed the crystal ball, chased her down and beat her to death."

"If you send multiple one sentence texts, I will mail a raccoon to your face I'm not kidding."