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Joke of the Day

"Doctor, doctor! I think I'm a pair of curtains! Well that's more of a mental health issue, I'm not really qualified to help you."

"A girl comes out of Sherlock's office as Watson comes in...he thinks they had sex. ""That girl was in college wasn't she?"" ""Elementary, my dear Watson"""

"Two Scottish ducks on a tandem... The one on the back says ""Quack!"" The one on the front says "" Ah cannae go any quacker"""

"So I heard the Brits have a new dating app It's called Kinder."

"What does Santa do to dragons? He ""sleighs"" them."

"I wonder if they sell tumbleweeds on eBay, as it would be cool to have a few following me around the office wherever I go"

"[Cannibal Restaurant] Waiter: Need anything else? Cannibal: No, I'm stuffed. I can't even finish this. Could I get a body bag?"

"Conversation between two psychologists ""I've developed a way to study patience"" ""What kind of patients?"" ""All of them"""

"What is Kim Kardashian's favorite sex position? On camera. Credit to this week's episode of *The Soup*."

"-Where is your wife ? -In the garden. -But I don't see her. -Oh, you just have to dig a little."