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Joke of the Day
"Girl just asked me to talk dirty so I described the space behind my fridge."
Next Joke
"A good way to know you'll be paying more than 5 dollars for a coffee is if the guy making it looks like one of the Lumineers."
"What do hippies say when you tell them to get off your couch? Namaste"
"I am the King of the Universe and I have a son and he occasionally appears on grilled-cheese sandwiches. #yup"
"Did you hear about the wooden car with the wooden engine, the wooden doors and the wooden chassis? It wooden go."
"Pay attention to all these women that are posting pictures with their mom's on Mother's Day because that is what they are going to look like!"
"Private browsing is for pussys... ... and tits"
"I was at my friend's house the other day and saw his dog licking its balls. ""Oh, I wish I could do that"" I said, my friend then replied back ""Give him a biscuit and he might let you"""
"I quit my job at the helium factory... I refuse to be spoken to in that tone"
"Apparently the local fruit fly is a smoker..... She goes out every night for a drag."