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Joke of the Day

"A good way to know you'll be paying more than 5 dollars for a coffee is if the guy making it looks like one of the Lumineers."

"ME: What tattoo should I get? TATTOO ARTIST: Something meaningful that represents love and connection. ME: One ravioli on my thigh please."

"Kanye West compared his relationship with Kim Kardashian to Romeo and Juliet. So we won't have to deal with them too much longer, you guys."

"How do you cut off a redneck's dick? Kick his sister in the jaw"

"A Chicken and an Egg are laying in bed together. The chicken takes an unsatisfied drag on her cigarette and says ""Well. I guess we answered that question."""

"A Frenchman walks into a library and asks for a book on war. The librarian replies, ""Fuck off, you'll lose it."""

"What is a chemist's favorite brand of shoes? Vans of der Waals"

"What do you get when you cross a spud and a metal show? Moshed potatoes."

"What was Cher doing before she was born? She was a preacher."

"AC changed bail to basil, and now I'm sitting in jail with some lovely herbs."