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Joke of the Day

"After announcing our weight at birth, parents shouldn't stop. If they announced it at every birthday, we'd all be a lot skinnier."

"WELL IF BEING DISCHARGED FROM THE HOSPITAL ISNT THE BEST TIME TO ASK ABOUT A THREESOME THEN IM FRESH OUT OF IDEAS"

"Roses are red, violets are blue. I am schizophrenic. I am too."

"Holiday sex is the best sex ever..... That was the hardest postcard from my wife to read!"

"Hear about that guy who was so desperate for accolades that he framed his parking citation?"

"Kanye West always looks like someone just told him a movie spoiler."

"I was promised today would be a new day. This feels suspiciously like a used Wednesday."

"What was the baseball score when ethiopia played africa.....ate nothing"

"Did you ever hear about the Mexican born with two wieners. He named them Jose and hose b"

"Just saw a spider scurry across the floor. It's too bad; I really liked living here."