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Joke of the Day

"People keep accusing me of using the wrong words in my sentences. It's like everyone in my life has turned into a grandma nazi."

"What do nature and dogs have in common? They both abhor a vacuum."

"Yo mama so stupid she stole free bread."

"Anthropologists found a group of people whose religion forbids them from being angry They're called the Nomads"

"What's six inches long, has two nuts, and gives women big bellies? Almond Joy."

"When I was young, you could go into a corner shop with 1 and come out with 2 cokes, 3 Freddos and a magazine. Nowadays, there's CCTV everywhere."

"[buys ghostbusters ringtone] ME: who ya gonna call? [1 hour later] ME: who ya gonna call?! [2 days later] ME: *sobbing* I am so lonely"

"Two blondes are on opposite sides of a lake One blonde yells to the other ""How do I get to the other side?!"" The other blonde responds ""You are on the other side!"""

"How can a black woman tell if she is pregnant? When she goes to pull out her tampon and all the cotton's been picked."

"""Hacker"" simply means ""a person who is skilled with computers."" To describe a computer criminal, use ""Linux user."""