103001

Joke of the Day

"Me: *braids girl's hair* Girl: *turns around, terrified* Me: The movie was boring me... *leans back in seat* *eats popcorn*"

"Hello, I'm waiter, I'll be your Walter tonight. Wait, the other way around. Sorry, first day. Care for a glass of Walter? Ooh boy ok"

"If my name was Rudolph Spermguzzler I would introduce myself like this: Hi, I'm Rudolph Spermguzzler, sorry if it's a bit of a mouthful."

"I hope at the end of the movie, Batman and Superman have to sit down and write a list of all the things they appreciate about each other."

"WORST THING YOU CAN DO What's the worst thing you can do to a blind person? Leave the plunger in the toilet!"

"What do you call it when the stars align for a mustard thief? A Gulden's opportunity."

"Why can't pirates learn the alphabet? Because they spend years at C."

"""OPEN THE DOOR IT'S THE POLICE"" who is it? ""POLICE"" what is a police *cops start whispering* ""how does he not know what a police is"""

"I like the term ""making a name for yourself"" It implies your parents were wrong."

"My friend died of autoerotic asphyxiation... The story is a real tearjerker."