155870

Joke of the Day

"Kurt Cobain shot himself because he couldn't live with the guilt of drowning 18 babies to get 1 usable photo for an album cover."

"What if Harry Potter was dreaming for seven years because he ran headfirst into a wall at a train station?"

"Rene Descartes walks into a bar. The bartender says, ""Would you like a beer?"" Descartes says, ""I think not,"" and vanishes."

"It's been about 3 years since my last drink and I'm still hungover."

"I only date girls that smoke weed I guess you can say I have high standards"

"I wish someone would leave a horse's head in my bed so that when my kids sneak up on me in the morning, I can be like, BAM, horse's head."

"What's the difference between light and hard? You can still fall asleep with the light on!"

"Kids are scared to pour vinegar in their cups because BAKING SODA. BAKING SODA. I GOT BAKING SODA"

"I slip the nun 30 bucks and real quiet-like ask to see the ""strong orphans."""

"My 20y/o brother went to Elementary school.. To learn firebending"