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Joke of the Day

"A soldier survived mustard gas in battle, and then pepper spray by the police He's now a seasoned veteran."

"I like to lie down on the top of a hill, then tumble down to the bottom. That's just the way I roll."

"Why do woman have faces? So you know what cunts yours. I have to get a ratio of woman to man down/up votes for this haha.."

"What's the worst aspect about Calculus teachers? They always go off on tangents in class."

"What is the best part about having sex with twenty eight year olds There are twenty of them"

"What's the difference between a group of snowboarders and lifties (lift attendants)? The lift attendants have jobs."

"I heard one of the best jokes I've ever heard in my life yesterday! It was about an anti-climax."

"ME: *opens planner and puts on reading glasses* no im sorry looks like i can't make it FRIEND: you're holding a VCR warranty brochure"

"What is the name of a dog with no legs and metal balls? Sparky"

"I hate when my wife asks me to hold her purse and it doesn't match what I'm wearing."