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Joke of the Day

"A soldier survived mustard gas in battle, and then pepper spray by the police He's now a seasoned veteran."

"Opening a new restaurant, focusing on gourmet noodles and spaghetti. We're also going to offer free delivery. We're calling it Send Noods"

"I heard a great HIPAA joke yesterday But I can't tell you !"

"God: I will create a being to cook, clean, serve and obey. Adam: what will it cost me? God: an arm and a leg. Adam: what can I get for a rib"

"What do ping pong players and my dominatrix have in common? They both like to paddle little, white balls."

"Just think: right now, your body is cookin' up some poop."

"If Donald Trump was a communist, instead of saying ""Grab her by the pussy"" he would have said ""Seize the means of reproduction."""

"My neighbor called my dog fat the other day. Took me two hours to convince my dog that he just had thick fur."

"Two cannibals are eating a clown One turns to the other and says, ""Does this taste funny to you?"" The other one replies ""Yeah, it kinda does."" Two days later they both died of food poisoning."

"Hillary will be the most transparent president ever... ... because she will have every state secret sitting on an insecure server in her basement. hahahaha *cry*"