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Joke of the Day
"You know why the Germans lost WWII? Because storm troopers always miss."
Next Joke
"Some sad news from Australia... the inventor of the boomerang grenade died today."
"Last time I used my phone was to call someone upstairs in my house b/c getting up is hard & I'm not trying to win the Olympics."
"Why does Santa have a huge sack? Because he only comes once a year."
"What do you call a Mexican nurse? [A care beaner.](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Carabiner)"
"Q: How do elephants smell? A: Really bad."
"Today, I'm going to open up the time capsule I made when I was a kid... I can't wait to see how big my puppy is now!!!!"
"Why did the Jews roam the desert for 400 years? Someone lost a quarter."
"I'm a violent sadist, but I also enjoy beastiality. Am I flogging a dead horse?"
"Police officer: Ma'am do you know why I pulled you over? Me: I'm just as confused as you are."