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Joke of the Day

"[bedroom] Me getting out whipped cream: I've been waiting for this Gf: kinky, I like it Me already eating pie: what"

"The celebrity couple name for Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton is Clump."

"Probably too soon... But it looks like Peaches Geldof doesn't like Mondays, either."

"You want to know the only thing wrong with rap music? It doesn't have a C in front of it."

"Patient: Hey that tooth you pulled wasn't the one I wanted pulled. Dentist: Relax I'm coming to it."

"A blind man walks in to a bar... ...and a chair...and a table..."

"Why did God create Adam before Eve? To let him get a word in."

"I'll never understand why anyone would buy one of those flesh-colored Volkswagen beetle cars, it's like driving a giant testicle."

"Just printed out 50 copies of today's weather forecast to carry around with me today because I'm just not in the mood for small talk."

"What did the monkey say when he put his tail on the railroad tracks? It's won't be long now!"