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Joke of the Day

"Why did God create Adam before Eve? To let him get a word in."

"""I don't know the government, and I'm not giving them any of my coins."" - my 4yo after I explained taxes"

"Women's voices naturally get higher as they get excited so if you're in bed and she still sounds like Morgan Freeman, try harder."

"What do you get if you breed a hedgehog and a grass snake? *Interbreed. A meter of barbed wire. It's funnier in Russian"

"What's the President's favorite vegetable? Barackoli"

"What does a Soldier and a Shoulder have in common? They have access to arms."

"How many performance artists does it take to change a lightbulb? I don't know, I left early."

"Weddings r cool bc u can cry in public about other stuff as long as u look in the general direction of the bride + groom"

"I think the hardest part about being a cashier is telling the girl buying 3 pregnancy tests to ""Have a nice day"""

"Why did the Death Star hire a lot of football players from Thailand? Because they needed more Thai Interceptors!"