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Joke of the Day

"My daughter asked me what marriage is like, so I threw out all her Ken dolls, except for the bald drunk one."

"My mate reckons he can tighten nuts and bolts just by sitting on them. Personally I think he torques out of his arse..."

"Should I be suspicious if my wife sends me to pick up something she bought on Craig's List just a week after we updated our life insurance?"

"This will make you groan.. I like to travel a lot, and last year I flew and visited Hiroshima, Japan. It was fairly cold that day so it wasn't the best day, but it wasn't the worst...."

"I know I did a good job dressing my 3 year old when my wife doesn't have to tell everyone she sees that I dressed her."

"Just go ahead and arrest the psychopaths who still have egg avatars."

"House for sale. Spider on ceiling."

"To anyone commenting you don't have any chest hair Tell them it does not grow on steel"

"Why don't people in Kuwait know who Obama is? Because they've been living under Iraq."

"An ideal homework excuse Teacher: Where is your homework? Pupil: I left it in my shirt and my mother put it in the washing machine"