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Joke of the Day
"I got a blowjob for Valentine's Day. (NSFW) I'm so fucking fucked if my wife finds out."
Next Joke
"I told my wife that Leonard Nimoy, Mr. Spock died. She said, ""May the force be with him."""
"ME: Off to the concert with my friends WIFE: Say hi to everyone for me [later] ME [individually saying hi to 10,000 ppl] This is exhausting"
"Believe me if you ever saw it, you would even say it glows!"
"What type of wind is named after both a cat and a bat? Katabatic"
"This year I'm going to put the mistletoe in my back pocket, so people I hate can kiss my ass."
"What's brown and rhymes with snoop? Dr Dre"
"Why don't witches wear a flat cap? There's no point to it"
"How do you spot a blind guy at a nude beach? It isn't hard"
"Would I be in a porno for a million dollars? It depends. What kind of porn? Will my mom see it? Do I have to pay the million all at once?"