201391

Joke of the Day

"ME: Off to the concert with my friends WIFE: Say hi to everyone for me [later] ME [individually saying hi to 10,000 ppl] This is exhausting"

"*wears shoulder pads for the angel and devil on my shoulders *pimps their ride"

"Just saw a bumper sticker that said ""supprt your local beaver"" or maybe it said ""support your local brewer"" either way it's sound advice."

"I like my women like my coffee... ...really hot, and all over my crotch"

"""I'm so over you."" - A blanket."

"Took my car to the mechanic because it was making a terrible noise... Turns out it was just a Pitbull song on the radio."

"I'm just a boy, standing in front of a printer wondering if he forgot to press something."

"I was going to make a chemistry joke, but... Na"

"Him: My voice is a little hoarse. Me: You have a pony?! Him: ... Me: ... Him: ... Me: I wish I had a pony. *pouts*"

"Don't mind me The real joke is always in the comments. I'm just waiting for it."