201391

Joke of the Day

"ME: Off to the concert with my friends WIFE: Say hi to everyone for me [later] ME [individually saying hi to 10,000 ppl] This is exhausting"

"Dear Sir/Madam, Your transgender operation has been a partial success."

"Want to hear a joke about black people? Never mind it won't work"

"I make more money than Bill Gates and Mark Zuckerburg combined And all I do is work at the U.S. Mint"

"Nostalgia isn't what it used to be..."

"Why don't witches like The Keg? Because it's always burned at the stake"

"I plan to scary-haunt anyone who says ""she wouldn't want us to be sad"" at my funeral. If you're not sad that I'm gone forever you deserve it"

"What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back when you throw it? a dead cat"

"What kind of weather puts a smile on snoop dogg' face? Drizzle.. my nizzle"

"What is Martin Luther King's least favorite Christmas song? I'm dreamin' of a white Christmas"