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Joke of the Day

"I need an aggressive dog-barking sound on my phone, for whenever anyone knocks on the bathroom door when I'm in there"

"Oh you have morals? You must be new here."

"Holocaust jokes aren't funny. My great grandfather died in Auschwitz. He fell off of a watch tower."

"I just like to sleep naked... The flight attendant could have been a bit more understanding."

"Accountants have the toughest job in Afghanistan because of the tally ban."

"What did the owner of the gay bar do when his joint was full and he couldn't seat all of his customers? He flipped the chairs over."

"LPT: When Reddit is down it is a perfect time to do something away from your computer, like for example crying in a corner Well Reddit was down and I had to do something"

"GYM Man: ""Can you spot me?"" Me: ""Sure"" Man: *Throwing down towel* ""Invisibility cloak my ass"""

"This cab driver has zero clue that ive played crazy taxi extensively and am critiquing his every move"

"My mother always told me ""if you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all""...and some people wonder why I'm so quiet around them."