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Joke of the Day

"What did the owner of the gay bar do when his joint was full and he couldn't seat all of his customers? He flipped the chairs over."

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"turkey went out of the frying pan and into the fire only for Putin to put them in the oven"
"why did the pervert cross the road? because his dick was stuck in the chicken"
"A man goes to a doctor Man : Doc, I have been hurting in places. Doc : Then don't fucking go to those places."
"Praying: It's like wanting to help without actually having to help"
"Girlfriend pressuring you to have a baby? Set the alarm on her phone to an infant screaming. If that doesn't changer her mind..DUMP HER!"
"""Git yer cotton pickin hands off a my gin."" -Eli Whitney"
"Sorry I yelled: BLESS YOU and handed you a tissue after you told me you loved me Blow your nose, it will pass"
"It is rude to start a Twitter account and not state within 48 hours that you want to see what all the fuss is about."
"What do you call a bird of prey born in the 00's. A millennium falcon."