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Joke of the Day
"911: what's your emerg- ME: I'VE BEEN SHOT 911: ...why would you interrupt me like that?"
Next Joke
"Ever heard of the blind hooker? You really gotta hand it to 'er."
"Every semicolon I have ever used has been a complete guess"
"How many flies does it take to screw in a light bulb? 2 and I have no idea how they got in there!"
"KING1: I bring you gold. K2: I bring you frankincense. K3: *drops pot of myrrh* *pot shatters* Oh. I bring you...erm...interpretive dance!"
"A cannibal receives a call from his recently found brother. ""What a relief! I thought I passed you on the side of the road the other day."""
"Q: Why is air a lot like sex? A: Because it's no big deal unless you're not getting any."
"Hear about the Donald's ""high energy"" masturbation kit? Tweezers and a magnifying glass."
"Nipples: Nature's thermometer."
"What do you do when a blonde throws a grenade at you Pull the pin out and throw it back"