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Joke of the Day

"What do you do when a blonde throws a grenade at you Pull the pin out and throw it back"

"Fun Fact: If you answer your phone, ""Christ speaking"", 70% of the callers will hang up on you. You're welcome."

"Women are just like wine In my cave."

"What's the difference between Indians and Pakistanis? When a Pakistani has a red dot on his forehead it means he has about two seconds to live."

"I'm a shy person with low self-esteem, but I'll tell you a great joke ..if you promise not to laugh."

"How does Lord Voldemort like his pussy? (whisper) HHAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRYYYYYYYYY"

"My girlfriend asked me why I was blow-drying my crotch... Apparently ""heating your dinner"" was not the response she was looking for."

"My friend was dating a communist He should have noticed earlier; there were a lot of red flags."

"Life tip - buy a birthday card with your morning bottle of wine and people will think it's a gift. You are welcome."

"What's grey and comes in quarts? An elephant."