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Joke of the Day

"How many flies does it take to screw in a light bulb? 2 and I have no idea how they got in there!"

"North Korea is becoming like that annoying person that always threatens to close their Twitter account from lack of attention."

"Next time, instead of complaining about how bad you have it, think about other people, and how to make things bad for them."

"On your deathbed tell everyone ""pray for me"" then make sure to leave a note to be opened after you die that says ""pray harder next time"""

"It would be cool if a jar of Nutella had more than one serving in it..."

"Why did the hipster burn his mouth? He ate the food before it was cool..."

"Q: What do you give a sick bird? A: Tweetment."

"I spend half of my time thinking about fractions Well, not exactly half...."

"I dig, You dig, We dig, He dig, She dig, They dig, It might not be a very beautiful poem, but at least, it's quite deep."

"""YOU HAVE A CUT ON YOUR FINGER YOU HAVE A CUT ON YOUR FINGER YOU HAVE A CUT ON YOUR FINGER"" - salt"