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Joke of the Day

"Ever heard of the blind hooker? You really gotta hand it to 'er."

"Friend asks me to be her maid of honor: M-What do I have to do? F-Well I know you, so I'm expecting very little. Mission accomplished."

"How is a women and peanut butter the same? It takes a lot of coaxing to get them to spread when they're cold"

"My wife asked me if I could stop singing Wonderwall I said maybe"

"""Clue"" is a board game about people trapped in a house and one of them is a homicidal maniac who has just killed. Ages 8 and up."

"TIFU by messing up someone's sandwich order Whoops, wrong sub!"

"BOUNCER: *checking ID* this doesn't look like you CATERPILLAR: *adjusts makeshift wings* its me B: oh yeah? Fly then C: uh *starts sweating*"

"What's the difference between Sarah Palin's mouth and her vagina? Only occasionally does something retarded come out of her vagina."

"Two sausages are sitting in a skillet... One sausage says to the other, ""It's getting a little hot in here..."" The other sausage turns to him and says, ""OH MY GOD A TALKING SAUSAGE!"""

"What's an Irish seven-course meal? A six-pack and a potato"