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Joke of the Day

"What's different for Sean Connery when he has sex with his wife or with a prostitute? It's the shame."

"I was accused of plagiarism... Their words, not mine"

"Why did god give Marines one more IQ point than he gave to horses. So they won't shit during parades."

"*sinks into depression* Depression: ""Wrong hole."""

"Why should you bring two Mormons with you when you go fishing? Because if you only bring one, he'll drink all your beer."

"Why couldn't the radish finish the race? He was just a little beet."

"What is the Taliban's Favorite Holiday Footwear? What is the Taliban's favorite holiday footwear? Missile Toe! Source: My brother on the way home from subway."

"What do you get when you cross a stoner with a halo nerd? Masterchief"

"I've slowly replaced sex with food... and now I can't even get into my own pants."

"What do you call a turkey that blows chickens? A cock gobbler"