131400

Joke of the Day

"What is the Taliban's Favorite Holiday Footwear? What is the Taliban's favorite holiday footwear? Missile Toe! Source: My brother on the way home from subway."

"[DEATH ROW] WARDEN: Last meal? CON: Just a glass of lemonade please *Drinks lemonade/Burps* WARDEN: Pardon [CON WALKS FREE] W: SHIT"

"Did you hear about the deadly fire at the ice cream parlour? Hundreds and thousands were lost"

"Why was Sir Lancelot too tired to jump over the moat? He didn't get a good knight's leap. Wakka wakka!"

"David Cameron didn't do much as the Prime Minister of the UK But Theresa May."

"What side dishes did Jesus eat at the last supper? Peas and hominy."

"Why did Nintendo cross the road? idk, Nintendo always does random shit and never explains it"

"I hate you more than the guy that raised his hand after the teacher said we could all go early if there are no more questions."

"Anyone who shows up late to work, wearing shades and clutching a Gatorade is about to tell a lie."

"What do you call an outdated joke that, while sharp, has little potential for laughs? I used to know, but then I took an arrow to the knee"