193581

Joke of the Day

"Can I ask you a question? Me and my co worker was having a good conversation about school that lasted about 20 mins. Then she said ""Can I ask you a question"" and I replied ""You just did"""

"Cop failed me on the sobriety test even tho I not only touched my nose like he asked but went on & totally nailed the rest of the macarena."

"as i guy, i sometimes pee while sitting usually only when the bus doesn't have a bathroom"

"My dog recently stole my loafers. Now they're his new favorite pair of **chews.**"

"How do you know your sister's on her period? Your dad's dick tastes like blood"

"How do you know when Mexico is playing in the World Cup? Literally all gardening stops"

"Homework is like a penis.... its long and hard unless you're asian."

"When is the question also the answer? ""Who gives a fuck?"""

"the easy way to tell between local police and state troopers is that state troopers usually have more brightly colored, magnificent feathers"

"cashier: whoa 58 boxes of Mac and Cheese, having a party tonight? me: Cashier: me: Cashier: me: sure"