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Joke of the Day
"Maybe your jeans are distressed because you're wearing them?"
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"Dating advice: Don't just tell her you have diarrhea, show her"
"How many contortionists fit in the trunk of a regular sedan? Depends on the size of the pieces."
"I stopped listening to my parents' advice after they told me not to eat paste, and it was delicious."
"Farmer Jones bought a herd of pigs from a Roman farmer who moved into the next valley and boy is he sorry. The hogs won't come to the feed trough unless he calls them in Pig Latin."
"What do you call a fusion between Batman and Superman? The krypton-knight."
"I like to torture my kids by buying them a new Xbox game, and then taking them to the zoo all day."
"My granddad has the heart of a lion and a lifetime ban from the Edinburgh zoo."
"For those of you who don't know me, we haven't met yet."
"These sex jokes are in really poor taste and they need to stop. I mean, cum on, guys."