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Joke of the Day
"How many contortionists fit in the trunk of a regular sedan? Depends on the size of the pieces."
Next Joke
"What do you get if you cross a steer and a chicken? Roost beef!"
"what did Cindarella say when she got to the ball? {choking noises}"
"What am I? What has six tits and three teeth? The night shift at the Waffle House."
"2 Scientists walk into a bar... The first one tells the bartender, ""I'd like some H2O"" Upon hearing that, the second scientist says, ""I'd like some water too. Jimmy, we're not in the lab anymore..."""
"What did one lawyer say to the other? ""we are both lawyers."""
"DRAGON: get AWAY from me ME: let me pet ur scales pls DRAGON: I don't even KNOW u ME: breathe fire on me DRAGON: *is creeped out*"
"Probably the hardest part about being God is deciding between two equally terrible youth soccer teams that have just prayed to win."
"Why do hamburgers act brilliantly on stage? They give meaty performances - especially if they are in their prime!"
"Hey Nikon, just a friendly heads-up here... NOBODY gives one single fuck what camera Ashton Kutcher uses."