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Joke of the Day

"I woke up hungover but couldn't make myself throw up. So I guess I have a lotta shit to deal with today."

"1 out of every 5 kids face hunger the other 4 turn away"

"It was a beautiful day at the beach. .... Three young women with eye-popping racks decided to sunbathe without their bikini tops. .... A cop came along and pinched all six of 'em."

"When you have children yourself, you begin to understand what you owe your parents."

"What if the Bible had a major typo and the Devil was really after our SOIL? Maybe he just wants to grow some pot plants."

"Usually, the one you want, is the one you can't have."

"Q: What is a grasshopper? A: An insect on a pogo stick."

"Can America keep it down? Canada needs to work on Monday."

"I like my women so intelligent that it takes me days to realize I was insulted."

"What did the dentist say to the computer?...This won't hurt a byte"