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Joke of the Day

"Q: What is a grasshopper? A: An insect on a pogo stick."

"I got my car towed by a celebrity yesterday. I don't even have THAT big of a car."

"What do you call a snobbish thief walking down the stairs? A condescending con descending."

"Origami is Japanese for, ""we haven't invented scissors yet"""

"How many Vietnam vets does it take to screw in a lightbulb? YOU WEREN'T THERE MAAAAN!!!"

"Someone stole my mood ring. I dont know how i feel about that."

"20 years ago my parents had a traffic accident... and that was the day I was born"

"What's the difference between a drunk Morse code operator and a lesbian? One's a lit clicker and the other is a clit licker."

"I accidentally went grocery shopping on an empty stomach and now I'm the proud owner of aisle 4."

"Why does the Easter Bunny hide Easter eggs? He doesn't want anyone knowing he's been fucking the chickens!"