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Joke of the Day

"The doctor comes to a patient Doc: You have cancer and alzheimer. Patient: That's fine, atleast i don't have cancer."

"I parked in a disabled space today and a traffic warden shouted, ""Oi, what's your disability?"" I said, ""Tourettes! Now fuck off you c*nt!"""

"Having a charity event for people that struggle to orgasm Let me know if you can't come."

"My girlfriend keeps telling me i need a job... I said ""with your hands or your mouth?"""

"I used to hang out with a guy who was covered in mushrooms. He was an all around fun guy."

"Happy Birthday, black Jesus."

"If I swallow magnets will it make me attractive?"

"We should've cremated Michael Jackson in case of the zombie apocalypse or else people will think they're part of a Thriller flash mob"

"Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms."

"I've been waiting all year to post this this"