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Joke of the Day

"Having a charity event for people that struggle to orgasm Let me know if you can't come."

"You know it's time to quit smoking when you laugh at a tweet and you sound like Muttley."

"[TIL] Subway uses artificial chemicals to keep their bread fluffy! Ooops, wrong sub!"

"Why don't skeletons get sick? Because they always have an anti-body"

"[raises hand during kickboxing lesson] when do we get to kick boxes? [instructor] that's not what we- [me] I just hate boxes so damn much"

"Where did Noah keep the Bees? In the Ark-Hives."

"Dance like nobody's watching, sing like nobody's listening, Tweet like the NSA doesn't exist."

"Oh for goodness sake, if abortion was really the same as murdering babies nobody would favour it. Isn't it OBVIOUS you're missing the point?"

"Why did the chicken cross the road? He knew he'd be remembered for it."

"What's the capital of Greece? About 10 dollars."