169683

Joke of the Day

"I like my women like I like my wine.. 12 years old and locked up in a cellar."

"I wanna make a toast, to all of you. But i have no bread."

"Spiderman, Spiderman/ Does whatever a spider can/ Attends college/ Works as a photographer/ Just like a spider"

"What kind of dessert do ghosts always come back for?? A Boo Meringue"

"Ugh I completely forgot to do something with my life."

"What's the difference between Hillary Clinton and an AR 15? One is responsible for the deaths of Americans, the other is an inanimate object."

"I have now lived in New York long enough that I can eat a meal while running at full speed."

"Me: hey girl r u an earthquake Her: aw bc I rock ur world? Me: no bc your unpredictability threatens the entire foundation of my existence"

"How do you seperate the men from the boys? A crowbar."

"His ex saw me and said, ""I guess beauty is in the eye of the beholder""... I said, ""Guess so, but I Be Holdin' his hand!!!"""