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Joke of the Day

"How do you get a date on Tinder? Seriously guys, I've been trying for months so if anyone have any useful tips it would be much appreciated."

"How do you catch a green elephant? Paint him red and catch him with the red elephant trap."

"If you can pull off a lip ring, you should. Like literally. Pull it off your face."

"If you're havin AutoCorrect problems I feel bad for you son. I got 99 parabolas bit s butch Saint omg."

"I can see smoke on the horizon. God I hope it's rest of Monday burning to the ground"

"Why do parrots carry umbrellas? So they don't become polly-saturated!"

"When God created china he knew he would never have to make anything else again....."

"Just landed at LaGuardia lol JFK"

"Someone stole my mood ring the other day... I still don't know how I feel about it"

"Looting has hit London's Covent Garden Specifically the new Apple Store. Police are looking for iWitnesses."