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Joke of the Day

"""His and hers"" gifts are the thoughtful choice for any wedding. The division of property goes so much more smoothly."

"One day my GPS is gonna say, ""You should know this one by now"" and shut off."

"My cousin's shoe store burned down yesterday There were so many lost soles."

"I was dating this girl until I found out she stuffed her bra with tissue paper. Then I was hooked because serious allergy issues."

"A rabbi, a nun, and a horse walk into a bar, bartender says ""What is this, some kind of joke?"""

"Why do you never buy a woman a watch? Because there's a clock on the stove."

"On the bright side... We can look forward to four more years of Michelle Obama speeches from our First Lady."

"Kourtney Kardashian named her daughter 'Penelope Scotland Disick'. In a related story, Scotland intends to change name of country ASAP."

"What lies on it's back a hundred feet in the air? A dead centipede."

"It should be called stay your crazy ass home Friday..."