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Joke of the Day

"Kourtney Kardashian named her daughter 'Penelope Scotland Disick'. In a related story, Scotland intends to change name of country ASAP."

"Did you hear about greek porn? They can't do money shots anymore"

"I love when I can still smell your colon on my pillow the next day. -why spelling matters"

"Your family tree must be a cactus ... Because everyone on it is a prick."

"Why did Kermit the Frog split with Ms. Piggy? Because she wouldn't rub it rub it. (blame Happy International Bacon Day)"

"At a gag gift exchange, I gave a woman a hotdog and a condom She said ""Frankly, I never sausage a small weiner."""

"I read this morning there's a test to find out if you have early stage Alzhimer's. And then this morning I read that there's a test to find out if you have early stage Alzhimer's."

"Soon a hero will rise. Then he will fall again. Then he will rise and also fall. Wait. The hero is on a trampoline."

"My ex told me I'd never find another woman like her. nnI don't think she was expecting the high 5 and happy dance I did right after."

"Stop letting your dogs piss on fire hydrants. Some of us use those for parkour."