219124

Joke of the Day

"""This is NPR."" Yeah, we know. You just spent the past 4 minutes whispering the news over a jazz saxophone solo."

Next Joke
 
"I need a bed that pops me out like a toaster."
"Scientists are coming closer to unlocking the secret to why the average American owns 40 pairs of jeans but only wears 3 or 4 of them."
"A Jewish daughter asks her Jewish dad for forty dollars to go to the movies... the dad says: ""Thirty dollars?! what do you need twenty five dollars for?!"""
"What is another name for sunscreen? SOLution"
"I'm okay with ""lol"", I'm cool with ""omg"", I even tolerate ""rofl"", but ""smh"" needs to gtfo."
"My girlfriend walked up and said she is expecting... me to lose weight."
"My daughter just said, ""Daddy, you're good looking & not fat like other dads."" She's only 10, but we're headed to the BMW dealership now."
"Politics informs every aspect of my life. It affects how much money I have, how I spend it, and my work itself. Sorry, not politics. Pokemon"
"Why do Zelda and Link smoke weed? Because they live in the kingdom where the hyrule."