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Joke of the Day

"Last night, Gotye won Record of the Year. Parents were like, ""Who's Gotye?"" while their kids were like, ""What's a record?"

"A skeleton walks into a bar and says... ""Barkeeper, I'll have a beer and a mop"""

"How did the scuba-diver pay for his drinks? With Barnacles (bar nickels)"

"What did the pirate say on his 80th birthday? Aye matey!"

"*gazes at laptop screen*avoids making eye contact with own reflection*"

"I miss the days when the Annoying Orange was just a fictional youtube character And not the President of the United States."

"Sex with mentally disabled ppl (okay for work) What kind of disease did the guy get when he skipped the condom and plowed a girl with down's syndrome? . . . Slow clap"

"Looks like the Indian bakery nearby is going through some tough times... ... I've just heard they've fired all Naan-essential staff."

"Did you hear about the brain implant that can fix stupid? It's called a bullet."

"What do you call a prostitute with a runny nose? full"