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Joke of the Day

"What do they teach in ISIS business school? Execution is everything."

"Chuck Norris threw a grenade and killed 15 people Then the grenade exploded."

"No one eats chocolate in tiny orgasmic bites like the women in the commercials. You shove it in your face hole as fast as you can, then cry."

"What did one strawberry say to the other strawberry? If you hadn't been so fresh, we wouldn't be in this jam!"

"Here's another great thing about hot tubs [pulls out a bowl of fully cooked ramen from under the water]"

"According to the 25th Amendment, if the President is incapacitated, the Vice President becomes the executive producer of ""The Apprentice."""

"How many telemarketers does it take to change a lightbulb? Just one, but they have to do it during dinner."

"Why did religion cross the road? God is the answer."

"I recently joined the Klu Klux Klan I'm not racist, I just want to know the secret of how they keep their white sheets so fucking white!"

"A sick Patient Patient: Doctor, I have a pain in my eye whenever I drink tea. Doctor: Take the spoon out of the mug before you drink."