218995

Joke of the Day

"i get in my bubble bath with clenched fists to make me look more manly"

"So you got mustard on your jeans. Shut up about it. We live on a wet marble that flies circles around a giant burning star. Fuck your jeans."

"What do you say to a woman with only one tooth? Nice tooth."

"Did you hear about the vertically challenged psychic that robbed a bank? Police say they're looking for a small medium at large."

"What did one strawberry say to the other strawberry? If you hadn't been so fresh, we wouldn't be in this jam!"

"Excuse my french... ...but I surrender."

"This guy came up to me and said he needed a glass of water but his pants were on fire so, he probably was lying about needing it."

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Bab ! Bab who ? Bab Boone is a real ape !"

"France and Italy are in a battle against each other. Who wins? Neither. France surrenders and Italy switches sides."

"A man once became addicted to cocaine from foreign countries. He spent all his money to travel and sample the evil drug in all parts of the world. Thankfully, he stopped once he hit the Finnish line."