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Joke of the Day
"i get in my bubble bath with clenched fists to make me look more manly"
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"Movie Names For Your Penis There Will Be Blood YOUR TURN"
"Did you hear who Deez Nuts is picking as a running mate? Shaft."
"*lights a joint* Woah, fire! Ow! My elbow!"
"Apparently for every $1 a man makes, a woman makes 70 cents. That's not fair. Why is the man only left with 30? Credit to Bo Burnham."
"Why does a golfer wear two pairs of pants? Just in case he gets a hole in one!"
"Voting was a lot more fun in the days when you got 4 snapshots for a dollar in the booth."
"I don't understand why people can't just check their kids at the airport with the rest of their baggage."
"Q: Why did Bill Clinton cross the road? A: To tax the chicken."
"Ever since my girlfriend got pregnant, everything in my life has changed. My phone number, my address, my name. Everything."