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Joke of the Day

"So you got mustard on your jeans. Shut up about it. We live on a wet marble that flies circles around a giant burning star. Fuck your jeans."

"My girlfriend's keyboard broke, and she sent me this message. ""HelpmyspacebarisbrokenandIwouldlikeanalternative"" What the hell is a ternative?"

"Wanna hear a joke? March 8."

"How many guns do the US need to combat an enemy? Two: one to shoot and one to sell him to shoot back."

"2 Wongs How come you only see white couples with chinese kids and never chinese couples with white kids? 2 wongs don't make a white"

"What do frogs say that surf the internet? Reddit reddit.. First joke i thought of. :)"

"In shop class... student: where do you keep your nails? teacher: on my hands, where else?"

"I made the kids put sunglasses on the snowman so he wouldn't have to make eye contact with the neighbors."

"What do you call it when someone has sex in exchange for spaghetti? Pastatution"

"Her: Let's read your horoscope... Do you believe in astrology? Me: No. That's such a scam. Well, at least that's what my psychic says."