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Joke of the Day

"JON: What should I do with these extra mustard packs? MARY: Just stuff 'em in the Lazy Susan. SUSAN: Hey, I'm right here! (*remains seated*)"

"What thinks the unthinkable? An itheberg."

"I got fired from work on pajama day... It's not my fault I sleep naked."

"Party Questions by age 1-12: Will there be a Bouncy House? 17-20: Will there be alcohol? 22-27: Theres no kids right? 30+ Who's bday is it?"

"What do you call a psychic midget who escaped from prison? A small medium at large."

"The Catholic Church has chosen its anthem Concerto for organ in a minor."

"Doing United States puzzle with 7 when he tells me that ""Alabama should be called Mr. Sippi since it's next to Mrs. Sippi."""

"Just as my teachers said, math has proven useful in my everyday life. For example, yesterday I dropped my keys into a toilet and made an integral out of wire."

"I believe in the vagina like other people believe in God I've never seen one before, but I have faith."

"Why do you want to run for President? Because walking wouldn't burn enough calories."