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Joke of the Day

"What did one snail say to the other snail? It...all...happened...soooooooo...fast"

"What does Sean Spicer call emails? Alternative fax."

"What's the difference between Jimmy Savile and a greyhound. The Greyhound waits for the hair to appear first."

"Imagine if Frodo was all ""Sauron's bad, but Gandalf's done some morally gray stuff, too, so I'll stay home."" Don't get eaten by orcs. Vote."

"If I had a dollar for every gender I could possibly be... I'd have $2.00."

"LPT: If you're single this weekend, remember... Name your hands and you'll have an instant threesome! Happy Valentine's day!"

"Why can't black people swim? Because the cops will arrest them"

"What do you do when your dishwasher stops working? Smack that bitch and tell her to get back to work."

"Hey baby, did you fall from Heaven? Because so did Satan."

"What is another name for a knife? A chopstick!"