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Joke of the Day
"What does Sean Spicer call emails? Alternative fax."
Next Joke
"Want to know why? Or do you want to know z?"
"The Oscars so white I gotta wear shades."
"I carry a stone around to throw at anyone I hear singing Christmas songs before Thanksgiving. I call it my Jingle Bell Rock."
"Son - ""Mom, don't get scared but I'm calling you from the hospital..."" Mom - ""Son you've been a doctor for 4 years, and you still go on with that shit."""
"ME: *sighs* yep, story of my life EDITOR: please stop saying that every time you hand me a draft of your autobiography"
"What do rodents with an inclination towards mathematics use for their auctioning needs? thepiratebay"
"Yeah, I'm basically a Pokemaster. *waves vaguely at shelves of confused squirrels in partially sealed Tupperware containers*"
"""You're the Garbage Man, eh? What's your super power?"" ""I'm just here to take out the trash."" ""Whoa, we'll get to your catch phrase later."""
"What do you call a porno starring Rowan Atkinson? A Bean Flick"